When you can’t love yourself

Sometimes you wake up and you can’t love your breath
Sometimes you go to bed and you can’t seem to rest
They tell you you’re the best and all you hear is you’re a mess
They tell you it is not your fault and all you know is you are the cause
You read about self-love on the internet and hate yourself more for being bad at it
You buy the book on meditation and the breathing causes you frustration
You call yourself names they used to call you when you were a kid
Then you shame yourself for shaming yourself for shaming yourself
Until you break
Your body hurts
Your brain hurts
Your heart hurts
Your chest pounds
Your legs stall
Your back pain grips you
Your gut wrenches
You cannot connect the dots
You cannot even discern squares from dots
Your reality is a nightmare
You cannot distract from the mental noise
You have no choice
But accept that today you don’t love yourself
And that’s okay
It is not hard to love yourself
It is just easier to hate yourself
Tomorrow is another day