What brings you joy?

And why it’s hard to answer this question

Sometimes the experience of joy can be more uncomfortable than the one of pain. Dr. Brené Brown even states that joy is the most terrifying emotion we feel as humans.

Last week, I wrote a piece about my greatest fears. Richard Childs responded back with the following:

“I think if simultaneously you answered your greatest loves, you’d recognize the holistic, loving Jessica I am coming to know through your writing. And this would be a much more accurate and balanced picture. More importantly a better foundation to focus on your continuous development.”

In writing my greatest loves, or what brings me joy, I encountered a lot of resistance. In Brown’s words, I was experiencing the foreboding joy. Everything on this list, I might lose tomorrow, and I know I will lose eventually. But I kept writing.

One of the many gifts of experiencing the darkness deeply, is it allows me to experience the light more fully. Ten things that bring me joy:

1. My beloved. After being single for years, I am now learning to love again. While it is a relatively new relationship, the intimacy both physical and emotional we have together, brings me into the present moment, and opens my heart in ways I did not know were possible.