If I fall in love with you

I will idealize you

But this time I will be aware and journal about it

I will write you poems and letters

But this time I will be sure to let you know, you are not the first to inspire

I will want to spend every waking and sleeping minute with you

But this time, I will sit alone with the craving as I breathe

I will want to share with you all my dreams, fears, hopes and wounds

But this time, I will share most of it with my therapist instead

I will want to tell the world about you, make you my +1s to weddings

But this time, I will tell a few until the intensity passes

I will compare you to my ex lovers

But this time, I will stop myself because you are not them

I will project on you what my parents did not give me

But this time, I will talk to you about it when I do

I will take forever to be intimate with you, because it scares me

But this time, I will overcome this fear and allow our intimacy to be

I will show you the bright side of me, and bury my shame